It’s so easy in these modern days to let your fucks pile up. Sorting through the fucks generated between work, family, living in a capitalist hellscape, and recreational activities can become quite a daunting task. In three simple steps, this article will show you how to ease the burden of those pesky fucks and transcend into lightness.*

*actual transcendency from the physical plane into astral lightness will vary per being.

Step 1

Gather Your Fucks

First, gauge the total volume of your fucks. Then, find an appropriately sized container. Jordan from Hinge is not an appropriate container. Nor is a pint of vegan ice cream. (Though the author does not condemn the reader for giving either a fair trial.) Instead, find something more open, more neutrally receptive. A park. A body of water. An exercise practice. A book. A journal page. An aux cord. A piano. Place your fucks in this container. Now, move on to the next step.

Step 2

Bring Your Fucks Outside

Next, let’s get those fucks out of the house! It might feel embarrassing to walk around life carrying your fucks, but unfortunately, it’s all part of the process. Plus, you’ll eventually have to carry them anyway if you don’t take them out and set them free. So, let’s get on with it.

Once you’re outside with your fucks, you might notice other people are also carrying around a lot of their fucks. It’s kind of like when you get a blue van so now you see blue vans everywhere. They’ve been there all along. There’s just something special about sharing in an experience. Furthermore, sharing similar fucks with people (in healthy ways) may even facilitate letting them go!

Step 3

Let Those Fucks Go

Lastly, in the healthiest way possible, give those fucks back from whence they came. Set boundaries around which fucks you’ll carry and from whom. Write scathingly accurate letters and burn them. Scream into the void. Dance in your room; dance in a crowd. Vent with your bestie. Go for a bike ride. Start a blog. Perform at an open mic night. Hike out to the middle of nowhere (safely) and absorb the magic of nature. Help the fucks leave your body in ways that don’t add more unneeded fucks.

Conclusion

That’s pretty much it. Rinse and repeat. Remember life is full of cycles, and though you may never be fully certified Fuck Free, it is both liberating and healing to continue to try. As the Great Stevie Knicks said, “Fucks — they will come and they will go, but when the rain washes you clean you’ll know, or something like that”.

Lastly, if you’re truly struggling to set your fucks free, please ask a trusted loved one for help finding a mental health professional and other mental health resources in your area.

If you don’t know where to start The Mental Health Coalition’s Resource Library is a great place.